Posts
Well, I was thinking of posting it at 14/12/2012, but I was lazy. I did not have the stackful of motivation to back me up in doing it. Plus, I was thinking of also posting the pictures, but I changed my mind as well...
Anyway, a year has passed since the incident that change my life, physically literally. I had my second surgery and now waiting for the full recovery.
A lot of people wonder why I have done that second surgery, and I will only say this to them, it is for the benefit of my health in the latter year. I wish that I did not do it, but I feel that it is compulsory for me to do it. The worst most regretful thing that I wish that I did not do is, seeing that Bomoh Patah. I do not want to get into the detail why I regret it, but I just regret it.
Now, here I am, not working for more than a year already. Do I regret for that accident, yes, but what can I do, I was not the driver. Who am I to blame, no one but only to myself for not being careful.
Anyway, I just wish that I will pass this predicament in a heart beat so I can continue my life. I am like a caged bird right now...
Friday, February 8, 2013
Reading Peepz
Well, I guess I am quitting in reading people, as I think I am just another fake in reading people up... As much as I believe in my capabilities, which is below 10, I think I need to leave these kind of people reading to the expert... It was fun though, all the reading that I have done, even if it is only with lower percentages to be correct but I did have fun.
I wish that, people will be true to themselves so I will not be wrong in the future =P
I wish that, people will be true to themselves so I will not be wrong in the future =P
The calling?
Everyone, everywhere must be wondering what is their calling, and so do I. I have been trying to grasp the reality of life since I was small. I tried to understand the norm of human relation since I was still a toddler. I had been trying to satisfy everyone's desire and expectation since I was still a child. However, never in my life I have ever managed to understand myself.
One thing for a matter of fact is that, I do know that I am a lazy bump. I do thing when I feel like, but I was not like that when I was in high school. I love reading books and learn, well I do not like to study though. I love to run and sprinting, but I hate competing. I love to speak out and voice my opinion, but I am scared of being in the center of the attention.
My friends told me that I think a lot, I over think stuff, and I do agree on that part. However, without this side of mine, I would not be able to come up with pieces that require me to think a lot. I managed to write a few poems that I adore because of how I think. I managed to create my own identity because of how I think. I managed to be myself because of how I think. Sadly, I was not accepted wholly by my peers when I was in school. My way of thinking was rather different than them, that they thought that I am dispensable and pushover. I had never achieve the satisfaction of having a true friend; to have the best friendship can offer. I felt that I always live in a dark.
All of those experiences had taught me to survive on my own. Since then, I could manage mostly anything on my own, even though I still yearn for the friendship that could support me.
All of those experiences had taught me to not only mingle in that small circle of friends. I now, have too wide of friendship that I now love them dearly and hope we all could have a reunion or a gathering or something.
All of those experiences had taught me to see different perceptive in life. It was a joyous memory to see the other side of the grass, and to walk in other shoes.
I had always thought that I am different from any other people. I am, different, I am unique but at the same time, I am just like any other bump who will fall down into the pressure of the society. I never had any strength in any particular field. I am bad with grammars and rules, I am mediocre in sports, I am just okay with arts and theatre, I am fine with poetry and story telling and novels, I am awful in teaching, I cannot persuade people, I have stage fright, I am scare of water and height and lots of other things, I am just plain hopelessly romantic, I am easily demotivated and a slacker, I never could cut a straight line using either scissors or knife, I am not good at motivating people, I hardly get mad at people, I easily annoyed by something, I have a very VERY high self criticism and so on and so forth.
My calling, I guess I will just be an average guy, with a normal life...
One thing for a matter of fact is that, I do know that I am a lazy bump. I do thing when I feel like, but I was not like that when I was in high school. I love reading books and learn, well I do not like to study though. I love to run and sprinting, but I hate competing. I love to speak out and voice my opinion, but I am scared of being in the center of the attention.
My friends told me that I think a lot, I over think stuff, and I do agree on that part. However, without this side of mine, I would not be able to come up with pieces that require me to think a lot. I managed to write a few poems that I adore because of how I think. I managed to create my own identity because of how I think. I managed to be myself because of how I think. Sadly, I was not accepted wholly by my peers when I was in school. My way of thinking was rather different than them, that they thought that I am dispensable and pushover. I had never achieve the satisfaction of having a true friend; to have the best friendship can offer. I felt that I always live in a dark.
All of those experiences had taught me to survive on my own. Since then, I could manage mostly anything on my own, even though I still yearn for the friendship that could support me.
All of those experiences had taught me to not only mingle in that small circle of friends. I now, have too wide of friendship that I now love them dearly and hope we all could have a reunion or a gathering or something.
All of those experiences had taught me to see different perceptive in life. It was a joyous memory to see the other side of the grass, and to walk in other shoes.
I had always thought that I am different from any other people. I am, different, I am unique but at the same time, I am just like any other bump who will fall down into the pressure of the society. I never had any strength in any particular field. I am bad with grammars and rules, I am mediocre in sports, I am just okay with arts and theatre, I am fine with poetry and story telling and novels, I am awful in teaching, I cannot persuade people, I have stage fright, I am scare of water and height and lots of other things, I am just plain hopelessly romantic, I am easily demotivated and a slacker, I never could cut a straight line using either scissors or knife, I am not good at motivating people, I hardly get mad at people, I easily annoyed by something, I have a very VERY high self criticism and so on and so forth.
My calling, I guess I will just be an average guy, with a normal life...
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
The True Confession of a Manga/Manhwa Reader
I love to read comics and manga and stuff. ONLINE especially... however some of the manhwa or manga that I have been following takes a really REALLY long time to get updated which is a very sad news for me at least.
I know that everyone who follows manga online would be extremely forlorn to see their manga has been updated after 2 months and above. and sometimes, the reader can even complain if the manga did not get up after a week.
To date, I have been following up with tons of mangas, and some of them did not even get updated for a year now, and some of the gets updated every single day, and some at least take a week to get updated.
I for one, tried not to be angry or anxious about it after I browse through all of the comments done by the reader in the message area. I for one, feel empathy towards the scanlators, because they are doing it on their own free time. In fact, they do not even get paid and even fork up their own money to do this.
They are doing this because they love manga and manhwa and other times of online comic strips. It is very lucky enough that they have the time and the effort to share it to all of us online. We should be grateful for their efforts and thanks them for their contribution.
Not, by taunting them for their late updates because they do have a life too. It's not easy to be a scanlator. I am not saying that I am one, but I had a job being a translator once, and it was a pain the eyes and in the brain. Not everything can be translated directly, because the meaning might be different in English. You might be wondering what does this joke means, and what does this situation happening in the first place and such.
People or the readers, should take their time off and live life in the reality for once, and not wait for the manga to be updated every single time they went online.
The scanlators should give themselves a pat on the back for the job well done. You guys really done a great job and thank you for it...
I know that everyone who follows manga online would be extremely forlorn to see their manga has been updated after 2 months and above. and sometimes, the reader can even complain if the manga did not get up after a week.
To date, I have been following up with tons of mangas, and some of them did not even get updated for a year now, and some of the gets updated every single day, and some at least take a week to get updated.
I for one, tried not to be angry or anxious about it after I browse through all of the comments done by the reader in the message area. I for one, feel empathy towards the scanlators, because they are doing it on their own free time. In fact, they do not even get paid and even fork up their own money to do this.
They are doing this because they love manga and manhwa and other times of online comic strips. It is very lucky enough that they have the time and the effort to share it to all of us online. We should be grateful for their efforts and thanks them for their contribution.
Not, by taunting them for their late updates because they do have a life too. It's not easy to be a scanlator. I am not saying that I am one, but I had a job being a translator once, and it was a pain the eyes and in the brain. Not everything can be translated directly, because the meaning might be different in English. You might be wondering what does this joke means, and what does this situation happening in the first place and such.
People or the readers, should take their time off and live life in the reality for once, and not wait for the manga to be updated every single time they went online.
The scanlators should give themselves a pat on the back for the job well done. You guys really done a great job and thank you for it...
Thursday, November 15, 2012
The Night Pursued
It was a cold night, and I was on my way back to my hometown. It took 4 hours of Bus ride from KL to my hometown, and I tried to get myself some sleep, but the street lights and the cold air-conditional kept me awake. I kept my sling bag, below my seat, which is something typical for me to do, while leaving my luggage at the rear side of the bus.
There were only a few passengers, here and there, sitting in the bus. I sat alone, and in front of me was no one, and behind me was no one. I sat at the fourth last row from the the last.
I called my sister to fetch me when I am just 10 minutes afar from my hometown bus station.
I was entirely beat up and tired due to the long waiting and journey. It was around 11pm when I arrived to my hometown, and I got up upright, and walked down to take my luggage, and I thanked the driver for his well done work in driving me safely to the bus station.
As a normal thing to be done, I went to my friend's stall, a burger stand, and waited for my sister to arrive. I exchange a few words with my friends whom were just sitting around there, and I saw the bus leaving the bus station to his next destination.
Out of the blue, I remember that, I forgot to take my bag from below the seat. I got really angst, because I just bought my new HDD for myself. My friends, without any sense to help me, said 'go and chase the bus then'. I was suffocated with their apathy, and I felt quite disappointed with their attitude.
As soon as my sister arrived, I quickly jumped into the car and asked her to chase down the bus. Both of us were rather nervous because it was a quite dark night, and the car wasn't my sister's but rather my brother's. She wasn't that confident in driving fast in that car, so speeding higher than 100km/h was out of question.
I was rather anxious, to whether we would be able to catch the bus or not, but after 30 minutes trying to pursuing the bus, we finally be able to see the bus. However, to ask the bus to stop in the dead night, was rather out of question. Due to the many cases of theft and malicious acts, we found that waiting for the bus at it next bus stop was the best way. So, we speed up until we arrived, and waited there for a few minutes.
After the bus stopped and dropped down the passengers, I went up the bus and took my bag. I was really grateful that the bag was still there. We arrived home at 1am.
There were only a few passengers, here and there, sitting in the bus. I sat alone, and in front of me was no one, and behind me was no one. I sat at the fourth last row from the the last.
I called my sister to fetch me when I am just 10 minutes afar from my hometown bus station.
I was entirely beat up and tired due to the long waiting and journey. It was around 11pm when I arrived to my hometown, and I got up upright, and walked down to take my luggage, and I thanked the driver for his well done work in driving me safely to the bus station.
As a normal thing to be done, I went to my friend's stall, a burger stand, and waited for my sister to arrive. I exchange a few words with my friends whom were just sitting around there, and I saw the bus leaving the bus station to his next destination.
Out of the blue, I remember that, I forgot to take my bag from below the seat. I got really angst, because I just bought my new HDD for myself. My friends, without any sense to help me, said 'go and chase the bus then'. I was suffocated with their apathy, and I felt quite disappointed with their attitude.
As soon as my sister arrived, I quickly jumped into the car and asked her to chase down the bus. Both of us were rather nervous because it was a quite dark night, and the car wasn't my sister's but rather my brother's. She wasn't that confident in driving fast in that car, so speeding higher than 100km/h was out of question.
I was rather anxious, to whether we would be able to catch the bus or not, but after 30 minutes trying to pursuing the bus, we finally be able to see the bus. However, to ask the bus to stop in the dead night, was rather out of question. Due to the many cases of theft and malicious acts, we found that waiting for the bus at it next bus stop was the best way. So, we speed up until we arrived, and waited there for a few minutes.
After the bus stopped and dropped down the passengers, I went up the bus and took my bag. I was really grateful that the bag was still there. We arrived home at 1am.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Operation Theatre
I hate operation theatre... It brought out many levels of my flaws ...
First the big long syringe that would be pierce from my spine...
Second the whole idea that I have to be naked in a group of people... seriously, even though, it was not the first time for me to be naked in a group of people, but not to female spectator... [ FYI, the first time was when I had my circumcision...]
Third the freaking place is effing cold. And, if you know me, COLD is SUPER DUPER EFFECTIVE against me... in fact, after the first time I had my so call surgery, I was being put under surveillance for being having the so call Fat Embolism... Which I did not have. Cold weather will weaken my heart till I can have a weak heart, and I have been monitored for how many days and they took my blood to analysis twice a day, imagine how painful to get it, as they need to get the good blood ... not the bad one... XD
Fourth to be out cold naked is the worst. You practically do not know what they are doing to you...
Fifth... well, this one, you should not know... too personal... XD
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Anyway, the thought of going there again, to have another surgery is too much... My fear tells me that I should not do it, but my mind tells me that I should. I want to get better!!! Should I wait for the natural healing takes place, then, I have to miss many events in my life. Even if I do it, how could I even know that by doing this small seems to be harmless insertion of metal into my bone would make the bones regeneration any faster.
There are many pro and con that I have to consider... Well, at least some actually... I have to take all into consideration, but, my gut says I should do it...
Another venture into the Operating Theatre, that would seem to be awfully not fun at all... I wish God will show me some signs... I need help making this decision.... 6 months home bound is enough for me...
First the big long syringe that would be pierce from my spine...
Second the whole idea that I have to be naked in a group of people... seriously, even though, it was not the first time for me to be naked in a group of people, but not to female spectator... [ FYI, the first time was when I had my circumcision...]
Third the freaking place is effing cold. And, if you know me, COLD is SUPER DUPER EFFECTIVE against me... in fact, after the first time I had my so call surgery, I was being put under surveillance for being having the so call Fat Embolism... Which I did not have. Cold weather will weaken my heart till I can have a weak heart, and I have been monitored for how many days and they took my blood to analysis twice a day, imagine how painful to get it, as they need to get the good blood ... not the bad one... XD
Fourth to be out cold naked is the worst. You practically do not know what they are doing to you...
Fifth... well, this one, you should not know... too personal... XD
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Anyway, the thought of going there again, to have another surgery is too much... My fear tells me that I should not do it, but my mind tells me that I should. I want to get better!!! Should I wait for the natural healing takes place, then, I have to miss many events in my life. Even if I do it, how could I even know that by doing this small seems to be harmless insertion of metal into my bone would make the bones regeneration any faster.
There are many pro and con that I have to consider... Well, at least some actually... I have to take all into consideration, but, my gut says I should do it...
Another venture into the Operating Theatre, that would seem to be awfully not fun at all... I wish God will show me some signs... I need help making this decision.... 6 months home bound is enough for me...
Monday, July 2, 2012
Right Leg
Today, my cat, name Archer was suddenly full of energy... Previously he was akin to Garfield, now, at that moment, he was bursting with energy that I tried to play with him. As usually, running is a must, so I tried to run, to exhaust him, but to my wonder, I could not run... There is no strength coming from my right leg... At first, I did not notice it much, but, when I actually try to push myself to break a run, I fail to do that, it would be as if I am limping, I felt rather overwhelm with curiosity, then I tried to jump. Putting all the force into my right leg, I tried to jump. However, it was a futile effort. I did not manage even to lift my foot above the ground. How funny is that... Nonetheless, I am not doing this to break my spirit, but to remind myself to this event. I might try again later in the nearest future, but for the current being, I will just stick with walking...
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