The Impregnable Defense Part 2

I set down again to the battle field. I know that I am a bit late to war as my current cohort is ground army; footmen and archers.

Our pace to the battle field was extremely slow.

Fast forward, I joined the battle, but without proper strategy as I had missed the war council meeting, I was injured nearly immediately; caught up in the enemy bait.

Rushing to the war without any preparation was a bad idea from my side.

I injured myself. However, thankfully it wasn't that bad. It injured my pride deeply though.

Now, I am useless. Barely can do anything and we lost badly again.

I need to toughen up myself and prepare for the future battles.

The True Confession of Azri Ahmad

It's hard to put it in word. My life has turned in many ways; whether going ups or downs.

I would like to open my heart here on what the recent event left me with.

I am a shy and low self esteem guy (Well, I am sure most of you will disagree with it) However, I am truly am. I am quite socially awkward towards friends who I know but not 100% close with. I have only a selective of friends who I am close with and I never felt awkward, and I feel very comfortable with them. This only due to the fact that they know me.

How does this affect me? As you have known, I had an unfortunate incident last 2 weeks ago. I am wounded at many places and believe me, I will have scars all over these places.

The worst part is, my teeth. Everyone always commended on how good my teeth looks like. A great smile. Thus, I love to smile. Beside boosting my self confidence, it makes other smile too.

Now, little that some of you know, one of my teeth actually may have to be pulled off. The dentist is trying his best to save it by mending a wire so it will stay put and heal up. However, it seems quite futile. He also indicated that there are other ways to save it, but I am not sure at what cost.

If the tooth will be pulled out, my smile would never be the same again. 

Therefore, can I smile again like I use to? I believe no. The smile that you have always seen on my face will be gone. I will be shier. 

Chances are I will avoid people more.

I am a single guy, still looking and this changed my gameplay altogether. Scars, at too many places will deter me to even go out with new friends. I am really unsure what my future will become. 

Yes, a happy go lucky guy like me do have my down time. It happened once, and now it is happening again. The only difference is that, now it is very visible. Everyone can see it. I am scared.

Little that you know, I am a melancholic guy. Therefore, I always in pursuance of positive thinking to tackle my issues. Buckle up and challenge it head on. This incident is a negativity in my life which impact more on how I perceive myself.

What will become of me? I am unsure of myself. I am afraid and concern how it will change me. 

In Islam, every challenges and difficulties that one's going through is actually a test. Supposedly, the test that God has given to you, will always be the test that you can handle. It would make you grow and shape your personality.

However, I can't see it as something that I can handle. It is obscure. Life is obscure to me now.

I am implore you that you can support me morally. Thank you for reading this. I hope I didn't take too much of your time.

Have a good day.

Untitled

I thought I have gone through with this phase.

I had troubled handling this issue 2 years ago, and it seems that it had cropped yet again.

I acknowledge the problem but I dont know how to go on and be at peace myself with this issue.

Everyone has own weaknesses. For me, I am quite a green eyed person.

Friendship is sacred - and I want to have them all to myself.

Now, the path that I had walked for all these years make make me a paranoid person.

It is hard to say, but my bestfriends know of this matter.

 I wish they can comfort me again, but both are busy now with their own life.

This is a journey that I have to go on my own - My own Rite of Passage.



Sorry, this is just a rant. Nothing more. A pent up feeling. It feels good when I release it in writing.

To my best friend who will always be my best friend.

I read a post recently on Facebook that talk about the drifted apart bestfriend.

It portrays on what I feel perfectly.

I wish to share it here.

Click on the link below to read such a wondrous write up by Rachel Digman.

https://www.facebook.com/openlettersthatmatter/photos/a.367938023368723.1073741828.361101197385739/596703363825520/?type=3&theater

Thank you very much for writing this excellent piece which you had put all what I had wanted to say on black and white. You had given voice to me. Thank you.

Class Change/ Job Upgrade

It is my time. I have the opportunity to change job; becoming a dual class character. It will be harder to level up but it is fun to have many arsenal of skills at my disposal.

I have many options to where I can go. Either I proceed to upgrade myself into a Guardian or into Sword-master, or I can change to become a thief, which something that I have been looking forward to.

I still retain my swordman tree skill, and with addition I have my thief tree skill. My proficiency using melee weapon in swordman tree skill will be a great plus to my thief capabilities.

The requisite for changing job to thief is to partake in a party quest to get a gem from the boss' head. The gem will allow us change job.

I have to venture the wilderness with a few guild-mates of mine. One of them, I am fairly close with; she is a healer. Let's call her Jin. We joined the guild nearly at the same time, and we just clicked.

We overcome challenges and difficulties. Many mobs and waves of monsters tried to stop us. The closer we are to the boss, the more of the guild-mates die.

At the last moment, when meeting the boss, only a handful of us are there to challenge the boss. 

As a swordman, I have to engage and distract the boss from the damage dealer while Jin supports me.

Upon the death of the boss, the gem appeared. At that very moment, all of us realize that only one of us may change our class. In the heat of moment, some of us started to attack each others. Jin and I hide and cover each others back.

Lastly, only both of us survived the situation. Both of us discussed about it, and I gave her the gem. I know that if she is still in the same job, she will leave the guild, and I want her to stay.

Now, she gets to change to Archer. A job that she likes, and I am quite happy about it.

However, deep down inside, I feel regret sometimes. Now I am stuck. I have to wait a bit more longer before I can change my class or I have to change guild for that matter.

God knows how long more I will be Swordman or maybe I will get my Job upgrade in this guild.

Do you wanna play basketball?

I had pending this for more than 2 years already. This is based on Frozen, 'Do you wanna build a snowman?" song.

Exclusively to my best bud who I had wronged. I wish we still talk to each other. I miss our friendship days.

Here goes nothing!~

Do you wanna play basketball?
Come on lets go and play
I never see you anymore
Come out the door
It's like you've gone away-
We used to be best buddies
And now we're not
I wish you would tell me why!-
Do you wanna play basketball?
It doesn't have to be basketball.

Do you wanna play basketball?
Or walk at night around the towns
I think some company is overdue
I've started talking to 
the pictures on the walls
(Hang in there, Kobe!)
It gets a little lonely
All these empty rooms,

Just watching the hours tick by-
(Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock)

Please, I know you're in there,
People are asking where you've been
They say "have courage", and I am trying to
I'm right out here for you, just let me in
I only have you here
I know I am wrong
What am I suppose to do?

Do you wanna play basketball?

The Impregnable Defense Part 1

I always belief that defense is better than offense unlike the majority norm believe.

Ever since I joined my first skirmish when I was still around 7 or 8 years old. I love to ensure that no enemies get pass me. In fact, I managed to penetrate their fortification easily while defending my fort.

It gives me a sense of accomplishment to sneak and attack them. I may be the most weakest in my offense, but when defending, I will be the first, second to none.

I know that there are still a lot of improvement to be done, even in my defense. However, I will train as hard as I can, so I will not be left behind again.

Yesterday battle was a miracle. Even though we lost our positioning, I did something that I have never done before, I managed to penetrate the enemy defense and become the first to arrive at enemy fort. I didn't do much damage but my comrade did a good deal of damage to them. I was actually surprised that I managed to charge without having anyone challenge me along the way.

My first intention going there was just to support the battalion, knowing that most of the time I will be put in the reserve corp. However, yesterday I was one of the first front liners. It really hyped me up to do better. I feel that I am useful again.

I will do better next time. There are many wars coming soon. If not with this army, I will be going with other new one soon.

Wish me the best of luck for the upcoming battle so we can win a few grounds.