Old School. Nostalgic Memories

I was really giddy when I went back to my old school...

I really could not held my sense of happiness in the midst of morning Monday assembly... My heart was brimmed with joy and I could not stop smiling...

Looking back front at the students, I could not imagine that I would stand on the stage as a fellow teacher, even as a temporary teacher...

My stomach was full with butterfly. I was acting quite awkward and smiling sheepishly at my former line of teachers.

Besides that, I still have my old friends who are now in form 5 and form 6. How young I am right now, to be a teacher...

But, I could not believed that I survived the first day of teaching...

Monday, I had my world turned upside down, as I had to teach History, Chemistry, Arts and even Morale education... I was supposed to teach English only, but these subjects made me jumped and shivered...

I managed to survive only barely from the first day, and tomorrow will be another new day... I hope the thing that I asked them to do, they will do it.

My God, help me survive these series of events... I am just a child, starting out in this working world only with my books in my brain...

Anyway, enjoy working~

Hair. Face. and You.

Have you ever wondered how can someone know what kind of hairstyle suits them....?

I did... and now I know how... It is the same with your knowledge of language...

It is innate... You will know when you see it...

That is how people know what kind of hair do suits them...

And, that is how I knew what kind of hairstyle suits me...

Perfection and Me

I always wonder why God has made me this way...

I had really low self esteem for who I was...

But, now, it only happened once in a while...

I had always envied those that have flawless features and excellent complexion...

Those that have desirable shapes and body...

Now, I know why God has created me this way...

Because, if I do have those incredible appearance, I would lose myself to the vanity, and snobbishness...

I have reconciled with myself for who I am now, and I am content with it...

I will make the best of me and will show the world, I can be great...

I want to be perfect in my own eyes...

Friday Realization

Well, how long since I want to write about this post.. LOLx.. like one month ago or more... hahaha...

You know how long I have been on kind of my spiritual journey...

Anyway, I went through a long journey.. from a secondary school brat into a fresh gradz...

I changed over the time... But when I was small, I always thought that I would not change, no matter what... However, reality struck me hard when I realized I changed so much that my old self might not believe on these changes.

I have fallen to the dark side and risen to the light side.

However, I had been into the light side a bit too short, as time was not that permitting me. I felt quite empty without it... there is a small void inside of me longing to go back to that particular time...

The dark side always seems to be tempting... I had been there and survived.. I would say, it was a one short period of time when I was still searching myself...
And, I do not think I would go back anytime sooner...

Well, in fact.. I would say, I am the corrupted man... HAHAHA, like the Haradrim...
Hmmm, yup... I find that I am in the middle, which is not great at all... As, contemplating on what to do and what not to do just become harder...

All of your principles are in question and you yourself would be as well...

I have changed... I need to accept the fact.

Computerized-brain

I just wish that my life would be simple and easy every night...

It is cumbersome to wake up in the middle of the night knowing that you wont be able to sleep anymore... No matter how hard you tried...

Plus, even if you have switched off all the lights and the surrounding is cold enough... It sure would not be enough to make you go to sleep...

Sometimes, I just wish that my brain is like the computer... Whereof if you want to shut it down, you just click on the shut down button... Simple and easy...

But, no... my electronic pulses still working, thinking and doing whats not...

It is so frustrating... I feel like dying here... literally.. my body will always have a lack of sufficient energy for me to actually function normal...

I. H.A.T.E. M.Y L.I.F.E.

Thus, sometimes, it made me thinking... maybe, Malaysia is not my supposed to be flourish place... Maybe, I have to emigrate somewhere else...

So, wait and see...

Final Examination Provisionary Result

I never felt this way before. Maybe I know that I do not want to go back and study the courses. But, I feel butterfly in my stomach. I am scared to see my result. Even though, this is not the final result. However, the feeling of failing is out of question. What I want to do now is searching for work not study. I need to get away from the study life for awhile.

Anyway, I still have to face the truth, my future, my predicament. I still have to open the portal and see how am I fairing. But, I could not bear to know if I fail. So, I am not sure whether I want to know or not.

Regardless how and what I want to do afterward, I still need to know to satisfy my hunger of curiosity... I am anxious. I am eager. I am just hoping that I will pass.

Wish me luck...

Weakness_Exposure_Publicly

We rely on our strength too much. We never want to show our weakness.

There is no one in this world would hide behind one's weakness. Always behind one's strength, because it will give you a boost of confident and capacity in doing anything.

Have you ever found anyone that would blindly walk into the street and expose oneself? NO... Everyone wants to see one's strength.

What's more, if you have a partner/soul mate [ or what-not-you-call-them ], surely they would look pass of all the flaws because of the strength. No one wants to hinge on the weakness.

In olden days, tear had been seen as a weak sign thus has been banned in the male dictionary.

Anyway, thank God in these days, male species can shed out tear, if not, I am not sure how can I express my sadness... ^_^

Coming back to my point, we will do what we can to make people to remember us for our strength, not our weakness. Because we want for them to remember us for the best of us.

Do not get me wrong, there are some people out there that love to venture into new things, and be vulnerable. The reason being is because, they know what they are doing and the thing that they are getting themselves into. Plus, they have the pleasure in doing it. So, let them be for the time being.

In our life, we try to do what we can to change out weakness into strength.

Furthermore, we try our best not to look back on our weakness, flash on a memory of our weak time. NO, these are not the time that we want to ponder our valuable time with. We want to see back on the best memory that we have. The time we share with our friends. The joy. The fun. The ecstasy. The thing that will make us grin.

We shun ourselves for our weakness but shine ourselves for our strength.