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If you truly know me, I am a melancholic guy. I think damn a lot ~
I have a lot of deep rooted issues that I have to struggle every single day.
I gave excuses to myself. Sometimes I felt that I play victims just to seek pity. Who am I really? I always feel that my being is an imitation of everyone that I met or know. I took their traits and mixed them into me. I am unoriginal. A being that only live on by taking energy from other people.
I'm a scare little guy. I scare if what I wants are unachievable by me.
Fears always have been the things that stop me moving forward.
I can feel the change that I'm now is different than what I was. Now I am a timid and scared guy.
I still remembered when I was still in USM. I was very bold and upfront during basketball. I can hustle. I can rebound. I am not scare to engage with opponents.
Debating was my favourite past time in UiTM. I joined debating clubs. Even though sometimes I got cold feet but I still joined the competitions. It was GREAT!
Meek is what I will call myself now.
I do not know if this is the aftermath of the accident but it changed me, not just physically but mentally.
This 2019 is the worst. I feel disconnected with people.
Whenever I go play basketball, or just anywhere. Even at work, I don't feel that my presence really do any justice.
I need to better myself. Focus on myself. Prioritize!
Many times my right leg went limping and I feel down every single time. A weakness that keep me from playing properly and do anything properly.
My latest accident in 2017 did me good also. My right shoulder keeps on cracking if I do certain movement.
I think that's all for now. Goodnight ~
