To my best friend who will always be my best friend.

I read a post recently on Facebook that talk about the drifted apart bestfriend.

It portrays on what I feel perfectly.

I wish to share it here.

Click on the link below to read such a wondrous write up by Rachel Digman.

https://www.facebook.com/openlettersthatmatter/photos/a.367938023368723.1073741828.361101197385739/596703363825520/?type=3&theater

Thank you very much for writing this excellent piece which you had put all what I had wanted to say on black and white. You had given voice to me. Thank you.

Class Change/ Job Upgrade

It is my time. I have the opportunity to change job; becoming a dual class character. It will be harder to level up but it is fun to have many arsenal of skills at my disposal.

I have many options to where I can go. Either I proceed to upgrade myself into a Guardian or into Sword-master, or I can change to become a thief, which something that I have been looking forward to.

I still retain my swordman tree skill, and with addition I have my thief tree skill. My proficiency using melee weapon in swordman tree skill will be a great plus to my thief capabilities.

The requisite for changing job to thief is to partake in a party quest to get a gem from the boss' head. The gem will allow us change job.

I have to venture the wilderness with a few guild-mates of mine. One of them, I am fairly close with; she is a healer. Let's call her Jin. We joined the guild nearly at the same time, and we just clicked.

We overcome challenges and difficulties. Many mobs and waves of monsters tried to stop us. The closer we are to the boss, the more of the guild-mates die.

At the last moment, when meeting the boss, only a handful of us are there to challenge the boss. 

As a swordman, I have to engage and distract the boss from the damage dealer while Jin supports me.

Upon the death of the boss, the gem appeared. At that very moment, all of us realize that only one of us may change our class. In the heat of moment, some of us started to attack each others. Jin and I hide and cover each others back.

Lastly, only both of us survived the situation. Both of us discussed about it, and I gave her the gem. I know that if she is still in the same job, she will leave the guild, and I want her to stay.

Now, she gets to change to Archer. A job that she likes, and I am quite happy about it.

However, deep down inside, I feel regret sometimes. Now I am stuck. I have to wait a bit more longer before I can change my class or I have to change guild for that matter.

God knows how long more I will be Swordman or maybe I will get my Job upgrade in this guild.

Do you wanna play basketball?

I had pending this for more than 2 years already. This is based on Frozen, 'Do you wanna build a snowman?" song.

Exclusively to my best bud who I had wronged. I wish we still talk to each other. I miss our friendship days.

Here goes nothing!~

Do you wanna play basketball?
Come on lets go and play
I never see you anymore
Come out the door
It's like you've gone away-
We used to be best buddies
And now we're not
I wish you would tell me why!-
Do you wanna play basketball?
It doesn't have to be basketball.

Do you wanna play basketball?
Or walk at night around the towns
I think some company is overdue
I've started talking to 
the pictures on the walls
(Hang in there, Kobe!)
It gets a little lonely
All these empty rooms,

Just watching the hours tick by-
(Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock)

Please, I know you're in there,
People are asking where you've been
They say "have courage", and I am trying to
I'm right out here for you, just let me in
I only have you here
I know I am wrong
What am I suppose to do?

Do you wanna play basketball?

The Impregnable Defense Part 1

I always belief that defense is better than offense unlike the majority norm believe.

Ever since I joined my first skirmish when I was still around 7 or 8 years old. I love to ensure that no enemies get pass me. In fact, I managed to penetrate their fortification easily while defending my fort.

It gives me a sense of accomplishment to sneak and attack them. I may be the most weakest in my offense, but when defending, I will be the first, second to none.

I know that there are still a lot of improvement to be done, even in my defense. However, I will train as hard as I can, so I will not be left behind again.

Yesterday battle was a miracle. Even though we lost our positioning, I did something that I have never done before, I managed to penetrate the enemy defense and become the first to arrive at enemy fort. I didn't do much damage but my comrade did a good deal of damage to them. I was actually surprised that I managed to charge without having anyone challenge me along the way.

My first intention going there was just to support the battalion, knowing that most of the time I will be put in the reserve corp. However, yesterday I was one of the first front liners. It really hyped me up to do better. I feel that I am useful again.

I will do better next time. There are many wars coming soon. If not with this army, I will be going with other new one soon.

Wish me the best of luck for the upcoming battle so we can win a few grounds.

The True Confession of a Trusting guy

I believe in people.

I believe in always to have good intention.

I hate when we prejudge people.

However, I know man cheats. Man lies. Man kills.

Not everyone in good, like wise not everyone is evil.

My life started to have the feeling of paranoia towards human when I was 17.

A friend. Someone I always consider A FRIEND in my social circle, lied to me.

I think, that was the first time I had someone blatantly lied to me. My wall of trust crushed that day. Crumbled. That was the first penetration which cracked and started it all. The first war that I had with myself.

As I got older, people... They are not worth to help, but we always want to have good things to be done to us. We should take the first step.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"

Now, I am reaching 27, I was cheated even more, and lied even further. I lost a lot. I lost too much. I am mentally scarred now. I am traumatized by how people can take my trust for granted and used it for their own benefit.

I trusted people too easily and too early. I have no ulterior motives. It was genuine. I thought the same to others. My wall has crumbled and to repair it. It would take forever.

In 2011, I spoke on this matter to my best buddy, Jack Izhar East. I told him of this issue. I can't trust people anymore, let alone be in relationship. He was very supportive, and understanding. He was always there for ups and downs. A true best friend of mine.

In 2015, someone took everything from me. It made me go through hell to get back up. The effect from the incident, lingers even now. However, I was lucky that I had someone to stand by me then, to support me. Without her, ElieLiLsnow, I would have literally killed myself then and there. It was by far the worst thing that happened to me. It topped 2011.

I am really grateful to have these two people in my life. Jack Izhar East and ElieLilsnow. They are the treasure of my life. I love them. I wish to grow old with them. However, I know I will never be able to do it. One got married with a daughter now, and another will be getting married soon.

I wish both of them all the best in their life regardless.

Coming back to trust. I am scared to trust but I force myself every single day. I want to believe in the good of man, even though my past experiences have showed otherwise.

A new breath

How long I had stopped writing. I feel ashamed to myself. Reading through all of my old posts, made me realize that I was a very different guy back then. 

The way I wrote, and how I think. Paiseh, that's all I can say to myself right now.

The only reason I remember this old blog as I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday, Jim. 

Talking to him, about my past, made me want to revisit this blog, which I did. I read most of my old posts, and I cried. I have changed too much that I barely recognized myself. 

I had gone through a lot and how can I forget that! Man forgets. 

Everyday is a new beginning, always try to be better than yesterday. I will.

Give me strength, give me support.