Memorial of my late father

You have left us in 2005,
Now its 5 years have by passed,
To sow everything that you have grown,
To respect everything that you have done,
To see everything that you have left behind,

Leaving your maiden alone,
Forgot her not as she has not,
Loyalty and Dignity still intact,
Nothing will dwindle her journey,

You have done and did everything you could,
Left yourselves a legacy of nine-hood,
The independent Azura,
The persevered Azuan,
The adventurous Azuardi,
The insightful Azlan,
The determined Azila,
The visionary Azizul,
The congenial Azyyati,
The diligent Aznita,
The passionate Azri,

We will always remember you,
now, yesterday, and tomorrow too,
Pray is all that we could do,
Nothing more, nothing less, and nothing new,
Besides that we love you.

Blogging as blogger

I have stated in the first few posts that I am not a blogger, or at least I was not a blogger.

Anyway, I notice that A TRUE BLOGGER has one thing in common, avid blogging and stalking. Thus, I know that I am not a true blogger and I am not that much care for the title anyway. Heck, lolx, I thought when I opened up this blog, I will be one, but unfortunately, my enthusiasm decreases every day as I do not know what to blog about.

Anyway, I am not an avid blogger. I do not go blog just for the sake of self-express. Sometimes, I have to really really think, [mind you, this does not mean that i do not think a lot, which I DO], what topic should I put, that is appropriate for readers and my fellow viewers plus friends. I just hate to just put some random stuff, [ well sometimes I did post, =PP ], and got away with it... I love to put something interesting and at least will attract you. Okay, okay, I do sometimes put rubbish, but well, as you know, and I KNOW, you also put a little some of those in your blog, RIGHT???

Im not such an avid stalker. hahaha, well I do stalk people but not blog stalking but rather facebook stalking.. =PPP
Anyway, coming back to the point, I want to say that, a true blogger will venture into people blog as a daily routine on their life to read what other people have post or wait eagerly for a new post and even comment on them if they rarely post anything. Thus, I am not from this group of people, right... ^_^

Oh yeah, nahh.. I dont want to rambling about something else right now... I think I have made my point in this post. well, hope you guys will be looking forward for my new post and I even considered of opening another blog post for myself, for another purpose. ahaha, until then. have a great day. ^_^

Uprooting and Rerooting.

to root myself. I always try to understand myself. to know myself better. Because, I always try to ask myself, why I do this, not that. and why people do that not this. Such and such questions always overwhelm my head. Sometimes I feel that I am not normal, paranoid towards something that is intangible.

I don't know. I just don't know.

I feel that, some friendship is just superficial, for one own benefits. And I am not saying mine is based on that principle. Anyway, I always feel distance with the friendship conventionality... I don't know why, because, I always think that if one does one thing this way, it means something, while if one does it this way, it means something else all-over. I don't know, maybe my mind tends to think too much on detail and the reason for one action.

Anyway, I am not that close with anyone. I say so even though I have many closes and best friends is that, I am detachable. I an saying this because, my emotion is easily die from feeling any negativity, if you know what I mean. I wont easily cry, nor happy if something happened to someone. I might feel concern, but thats all. Just a concern.

I would say that, I am also having the hard time of my life to get in touch with my own people. I found it easier to be attach with other races. And that is a problem that I see as, I also will be alienated the time they code switch. You know how it feels.

Plus, honest to say, I am MORE attracted to other race than my own.. I SERIOUSLY dont know why. [and even if I know, which I know actually, why should I tell you... =PP ]...

Thus, right now, I am not feeling belonging to anything. I feel far, and lost. I am like a walking lost soul. Lost identity. Lost entity. Lost sheep. So, I thought of rooting back, but not sure whether here or somewhere else. I am still looking and searching... and thinking for the most part...

Until then, ... :-/

Life as a university student

I havent update my blog for quite a long time already. .. ... if you guys notice la.. hahaha... Anyway, I have a lotsssss of things to update on actually... but SOME are TOOO private to be published... until the thing resolved, I will not publish it... hahaha... Anyway, the main thing that i want to publish now is that, My theatre performance "Beta Gundah Gulana" will be confirm to be presented next year probably... Hoping it does, as my progress is quite slow... The thong about this theatre is that, I require to unlock my verbal expression skill. .. ... Not the typical acting skill which I am good at... hahaha... and verbal expression is what Im suck at... [I PREFER TO WRITE] ... =P

Anyway, one person did say to me this... "Good Luck in Acting"... and "You are going to do great in it".... FYI, this is more or less what the individual said to me okay, not the exact thing... and Im trying to believe in it, because, I havent believe in people for quite a long time already. Oh yeah, dont say I believe you okay reader... I always have my doubt in people but not this person. Well, hoping to do my best... as always... ^_^ okay, not like always I did my best... but you know what I mean... .HAHAHAHA

Im also trying to at least finish one of my books now... I will continually write it so I will be satisfied in my whole life and be able to prove to myself that I am not a halfway doer as what I believe myself now. Just pray to God Almighty to give me strength to finish this unnerving job...hahaha... but, I have no problem to finish a good or heck, excellent poem, and I had a few already for this semester... but its kinda about love now..haha... I, I will change my style again, and write about something else, but until I get the inspiration on something, my focus will be about love still... hihihihi...

Lets move on to another subject, ... hurm. what to talk about... DATES.... I found out that DATES are very good to people who want to lose weight or be frugal... HAHAH.. since it is cheap and will not make you obese so easily, I found that, DATES are my mean out of this routine life. I want to save my money... MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY, MONEY!!! haha, Iklan sebentar bersama The Apprentice... =P

Oh yeah, last but not least, I have deleted all my games in my laptop... :'(
how sad is that, but I need to get myself to see the real thing. the reality of life. If I want to proceed for a better living. I need to detach myself from game at least until I finished my semester. Then, I can relax... well, even if I am stressed. I found that games are not the best way to chill oneself. hahaha

So, is that all that I want to update for now. Hurm. I guess.... not... for now.
Chiow!

My friends, we exchange words and we parted.

(old notes from facebook)


loved to see that all of his friends already moved on.

Looking at the past as some nostalgic memories that they might want to relive in, looking at the present as a gift of life and seeing the future as a challenge to continue living in this world as we meet, talk, and apart with each others.

Each second we will miss them, each minute we will wish that we can spend our time talking to them and be at their side.

Those memories of pain and suffering, of joy and excitement will be forever dwell in the mind and never be forgotten.

How I wish to put all our memories into pictures that I could hang on the walls and put into my photo albums.

To cherish it even more, and let it be seen by everyone that might look at it. Let them know that I am proud of knowing you. Whoever you are, Wherever you come from, Whatever your interests, Whichever your status would be, Whenever you came to my life, Why ever you stay beside me or against me, and How ever we be in touch with each other.

God bless you all my friends, no matter how far are you from me, how long have we been friend and know each others, how much you love or hate me, how stable and solid our friendship may seems to be, how did we know each other, how little we talk or spoke, how many memories we have created together,whether we have met or not, and how close or tight we are in this friendship.

May we be in contact with each other forever and ever.

May we meet again, my fellow friends.
And if we havent met yet, may someday we do meet and create memories.


LOVE,

Azri


Well, if you read from my note in facebook, there would be pictures of some of you guys if I ever took any...

L.O.V.E (old revelation as well)

I have nothing new to update, so this one is another old collection of mine... hope you guys love it...

I wonder...
Is there any differences between the love of blood and relation with the love of friend and lover?
And how does it differ?
Does it make us more prone to do something for it than the rest?
Does it require us to make sacrifice?

And how do we know if we love that person for the TRUE LOVE itself not for the LOVE of friendship...
Do we will love his/her companionship when the person is beside us?
Are we going to do exceptional things for them?

Is there no equality in love towards mankind?
Have I been blinded by my mind that I cannot find TRUE LOVE?
Have I adopt communism in my heart that I project it into the abstract understanding of LOVE?

I always love my friends equally, and humbly execute any favours that they have requested upon me without delay as I always do for my own family as I appreciate all of those who live around me their behaviours and personalities.

I cherished every moment I spend with all of you and even mathematician cannot make estimation and percentage out of it.

Thus. coming back to my question, can I seek among you the TRUE LOVE of mine with this equality at heart?
I love some companionship, can it be develop into LOVE like the one in the movie? so romantic and fantasize by everyone.
Or is it going to be only a commitment relationship of partners without the involvement of love as they love the present of the other being beside them?

Is it really important to find the TRUE and ONLY ONE amongst the million and billion of people to live and die together with?
Can it be someone sitting beside you or someone you already know and hate? or admire and even have a crush for that matter. Can it even be someone that already die?

A question as well, can it be possible for those who cannot feel the existence of love to have the other
half of them die without their knowing? That is why they cannot go through sensation of love...

Is the sensation of love is nearly the same with the people who is capable of hearing the notes...
Can someone be tone deaf but in the context of love? Love deaf, or heart deaf?

For that, I am sitting(literally) here, lost and ponder, maybe forever, to uncover this love mystery.
I can grasp the abstract meaning of it, as well as everyone understand it, but lost in really grasping it in its true manner which is to go through it by myself and see it with my own naked eyes, without anyone experiences or understanding of love tell me how its really feel...

Maybe as well, I think to much of it and that make its harder for me to find it as people always say that "Love comes from the heart" and "Love is blind" and such.
Thus implicating that, in order to love we cannot think just use your emotion and heart to search for it.

With this, I am asking you, can someone who always love their friends equally regardless, find true love in the amidst of blindness and friendliness?

Went to the beach in early morning... :D ... Found shocking truth about oneself... XD (old revelation)

This is an old revelation from facebook's note about myself that I wrote a long time ago...I just want to put it in my blog so people could read it... :D

Well I had my early walk today, thought of doing some jogging and exercise and I did for awhile...
But I only ran for a few minutes and most of the times I was talking to myself... I had my reflective moment again, since I have not done it for quite awhile.

You know something, I was very DAMN demotivated today. The reflective moment that I had really gave me a pang of emptiness. I was REALLY REALLY setback after realising that I am nobody in this world, and my life is such insignificant that I dont think anyone will remember me if I die.

One thing that kept bugging me is that, I feel worthless and useless. The feeling is such monstrous and unbearable and it keeps taunting me back again and again on my way back home.

I know I felt this before, but not THIS HEAVY and MALICIOUS. It struck deep into my heart and taint my ego.

I cannot bear the thought of having someone beside me as I cannot see my "uniqueness" or the thing that I can offer to my friends and companions and anyone around me, that has spoken to me.

I really regret that I think of myself and on what I am good in...I know that I am all rounded person in doing thing, but I am just all rounded person on the surface and not in detail and in depth... Like those who are really good in their thing... I am not someone who can focus on one thing only...

FOR REAL, I love in everything that people do, sprinting, basketball, writing novel, writing poem, diving and swimming, talking in other languages, learning stuffs and something new, singing, dancing, videio making, script writing, editing, martial arts learning, acting, directing, supervising, cooking, cleaning, interacting with other people, making love, flirting, wooing, observing, debating, arguing, listening, discussing, typing, organising, volleyball, bowling, archery, chess, painting, drawing, fashioning, designing things, manufacturing, DJing, Hiphopping, Breakdancing, Rapping, muscle building, hunting, fishing, consulting, advising, mentoring, teaching, coaching, tutoring, servicing, delivering, clienting, preaching, guarding, walking, thinking, researching, dissecting, gymnastic-ing and MORE AND MORE... I could go on and on about what I would like to do .. that I love to do... Heck, I even join nearly 10 clubs in my first semester in University for my own love towards it, and HELL I would join more if I have more money!!!! XD...

Anyway, that besides the point... The point that I want to make here is that, I splashed my thought and effort in all things that I never had a chance to actually know more about it... Now, I know and I feel regrets that I do not have any achievement that I am really proud so far thus making me feel insignificant and doubt whether I will be someone successful in the future. With the current achievement, I might as well die now and save all everyone butt from being annoyed by my insecurity in life... LIKE, who wants to listen and read this anyway.

Now, seeing people success in doing things that I love, make my heart throbs too harsh and bad. I wish that, things turned out to be different. I wish, JUST wish... I wish... I am MORE conscientiousness in life...

One thing that I hate is I am not discipline enough and I do not think it would be possible for me to change my personality, my trait. CAN IT BE FEND OFF? I hope so, but I am not strong to change THAT fact since I am just 25% in conscientiousness...


Yup, thats all I want to talk about... THANK YOU for reading...


Below is my traits, XD


Openness94%
This trait refers to the extent to which you prefer novelty versus convention. Approximately 94.5% of respondents have a lower openness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is far more intellectually curious and sensitive to beauty than most. You might say that your beliefs are individualistic and frequently drift towards the unconventional, and that you enjoy your imagination and the exciting places it takes you!


Conscientiousness25%


This trait refers to the extent to which you prefer an organised, or a flexible, approach in life. Approximately 1.5% of respondents have a lower conscientiousness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is impulsive and whimsical, and fine with it! From your responses it appears that you would say that sometimes decisions need to be made quickly, and that you make them quicker than most! You would say you are zany, colourful, and just generally great fun to be with... as long as someone isn't relying on you to get some work done.


Extraversion56%

This trait refers to the extent to which you enjoy company, and seek excitement and stimulation. Approximately 34.5% of respondents have a lower extraversion raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who prefers low-key social occasions, with a few close friends. You might say that it's not that you are afraid of large parties; they're just not that fun for you.


Agreeableness81%

This trait refers to the way you express your opinions and manage relationships. Approximately 88.5% of respondents have a lower agreeableness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is extremely easy to get along with. Your responses suggest that you would say you are considerate, friendly, generous and helpful and you consider most other people to be thoroughly decent and trustworthy.


Neuroticism (Emotional stability)56%

This trait refers to the way you cope with, and respond to, life's demands. Approximately 78.8% of respondents have a lower neuroticism raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is generally calm. Based on your responses, you come across as someone who can feel emotional or stressed out by some experiences, however your feelings tend to be warranted by the situation.


Go here if you want yours:
http://apps.facebook.com/mypersonality/newuser.php?ref=9&_fb_q=1

Secret: The Law of Attraction

People always think that everything revolve around your own selves and its actually true. Your are the one that can change your life. I have seen the movie, and I have try to understand the human and their relationship... and I come to grasp that, our mind, brain, mindset, perspective play a major role in our growth.

We could say that we are something, and we are not proud of it, but actually we can change, as its all in our brain. If we keep saying for instant that "Nobody love me, everyone hate me", thus, we will give a negative aura and our attitude towards the surrounding will be negative as well... thus, it will not be a good image. However, if the person try to change it, and he/she can, the person will eventually emit positive aura if the person passed through what has been bugging him/her. Because, its all revolve within our thought. If you keep saying you are not good. thus you forever will be not good. but if you say, I am good, I am great... and sooner or later, you will be what you say.

Soo, whenever you think negatively about yourselves, change it, as it will suppressed within your mind and later in your life it will strike you hard when you are vulnerable. Ergo, try to settle everything within yourselves before you proceed forward as someday things can haunt you back again...

So, say HAPPY :D
Smile always...

Serenity at Home

Well, I have been at home for a quite a long time already. A WEEK!!!

But, as time passed by, my ump in doing work decreasing. Maybe because its not conducive. Anyhow, I am tryin my best to work things out; with my life, my friends, my family, the reality that I am in, the people that I talk to, the relationship that I hold with them, the thing that I want to do in my life, my path for the future, my aim and goal.

Anyway, I find that whatever I plan, I never do it if anyone around me.

I freaking love night time. Its one of my mojo I guess.. Hahahah... well , maybe I just will start gibberish in my gibberish book. Just to get me start writing.

Sometimes, I am afraid that I am losing my mind.. ahahahahah

Life as it is

well, I have not update my blog for awhile already... My life is a bust...I have nothing interesting to share yet. I am busy with something that I am not suppose to get busy with. I am thinking of the person that I might never get. I am doing something that I should not do. I am contradicting the norm that I need to follow. I am just a simple guy with complication and I am just a man who needs guidance. I am just a boy who seek independence and I am just a person who wants to know about hiss life.

Just a thought

I just read my friend wordpress... I realise that everyone have one thing in common, which is the anxiety of being alone... NO Matter how up you are in a society or organisation... You always want to have someone at your side; to support you; to tell you all the OPTIMISTIC words; comforting you; Back you up; To share views and a place to cry on; and a lot more reasons...

Dont ever feel that you are going to be alone in this world, because when you look at your side(left or right), you will always see the warmnth face of your friends...
The only thing that you need to filter is whether they are your true friend...

Before you try to be open with them, try to categorise which type of friends are them....
Later on, try to be truthful with them, share your thought and hear their view...

Often we see friends that only acknowledge you for the things that you can contribute to him/her. You know; FRIEND WITH BENEFITS...
This is the most parasitic friend that you should stay away from...

Besides that, we can also see FRIENDS THAT friend with SOMEONE just to make him/herself feels better.. to make it simpler; he/she mocks you to make him/herself better... hhuhuhuh

Another one, is backstabber... well I dont have to tell you about that right...

well, I know that, regardless who you met, and what kind of friend you are, be sure to be true to yourself and them....

AND know that, you are NOT the only one has the feeling of being alone... Everyone does, so.... to resolve that probs... open up to someone. talk to some..


P/S: feel free to nudge me as well... :P

I will start rambling if I write longer...
bubye'

A day with a smile...

I loved to smile once...
It was when I was just a little child at my old hometown.. I will keep smiling from my school to my home... My neighbours always tell me to close my mouth shut... Cause, when I was small, I will give a DANG BIG grin...

Oh how I miss those days, I really feel that I want to cry as I miss the opportunity to do good things... Anyway, life is hard, and my smiling face changed to a frown or expressionless face... Now, Im too stable emotion kind of guy...

But, I really miss my smile, it makes my life a wonder... and starting today, I wish I could do it again, start smiling again... It will do me good...

You know what, my face looks old, and I know what cause it, because I stop smiling, thats what happen.

Regardless, I could not do my sweet smile again.. but I will try to recreate whats left of it... but, my true self will desire the old one....


OH, How I miss you, my sweet smile...

Cintakun Bersujud Lagi Theatre

Last Night was a blast... I am very proud of what the team crew and production have done.. Give a thousand round of applause to you all... I love you guys soo much... IT was another great experience for me in drama and theatre.. I hope I can use what I have learn from here and put it into practice in another theatre that I am in right now, which is still in development... I hope all of you will like it...

But now I want to talk about CBL (Cintaku Bersujud Lagi) only... hehehe

hehehe



anyway, I hope there is the continual episodes of this drama... or just call me up whether you guys are doing new theatre.. Im surely going want to join in and act..heheheh I will do my best...








until then, appreciate for all of the drama and theatre experiences that you guys have learnt.. and I am very sorry for my bad and unintentional behaviours that I supposed not have done... unti then,

See you guys in USM, and in the side road... XD

XOXOXOXOXO

BLOGGAMANIA!!!

Is there even such word..
huhuh

You know what, I am having blogging crave now...

Every now and then, I am going to open my blog and update it and write new post..
hehehe...

HOHOHO...
so, what to say, well... I just want to say that I'm in the crave of writing new post... thats all.. i am being redundant again..hehehehe

Anyway, how is everyone that reading my blog for now..
ONLY 3 followers.. great..but then again, that does not include my friends that still havent not follow me but have read my blog.. right?
hehehehehe

Anyhow, coming back to my life...

I AM DAMN INTO SOCIOLOGY NOW..hehehe and PSYCHOLOGY... hehehe.. .damn darn into it...

and currently, I am trying to "polish" back my reading habit...hhuhuhuh
by reading those kind of books...hehehehe

hurm, i find human being's personality and brain fascinating.

Well, I am just a guy without his manual, so guide me if you like, anywhere you go, I might be going as well...

I always thought that I am not easily persuaded or influenced but actually, I am darn fragile.. XD

but it make me to be aware of my surrounding better.. and I am getting better at it...
I will try to guess people feeling but I am just not sure how to show mine... because I am emotionally stable plus always detached.

One thing new that you guys need to know about me is that, I hate people staring at me without any reasons that I do not know... It arouse my anxiety...

hurm... thats all for now...
Until the next blogacrave...

WALKING. Walking, walking. to walk. walk.

Well, I have been trying this healthy life style that I read from A BOOK.. hehe... well, its actually a magazine, if Im not mistaken its Men's Health...

So, to put it simple, I have been doing at least a 30 minutes of walk per day so I can manage my body shape in a way. This life style is actually very good for those that are over-weight.

By doing walking, they can actually reduce their fat percentage.

The idea of walking 30 minutes a day is not on how fast or how far you are walking but rather on the time consumption in doing the walk.

Thus, even though, you walk like a snail, but it will still be a healthier walk that running.

This is due that, you are trying to burn calories...

So, what else should I say, I am not someone who are specialize in this area, I just know what I know...

SO, START WALKING TO STAY HEALTHY... ITS HEALTHY!!!!!!

Blogging,.. does it good to blog?

Well, as you have read previously I have stated that I heard people talking/saying that blogging is bad, but I would like to justify that, it is not true...

Well, it is not truly proven that it is good either but I would like to say on what have I observed for the past few days...

Well, for starters, my sleeping habit has changed a bit, I woke up earlier today and more productive. I came to my lecture, 1hour and 30minutes earlier (90minutes) ...

That proof something, does not it? Do not tell me that, I changed because of eating the Arabic bread that I have been chewing for the past few days.

Surely, it will not be true if that is the case... Right? Don't tell me that, they cast some spell onto the bread. Its just crazy.... HAHAHA... (Im listening to Gnarl Barkley song - Crazy) ....

Anyway, coming back to the matter of blogging, I will stand to the pro towards blogging for this day onwards...

Hohoho, it will be a matter that I will make a research on probably next year..hehehee

Maybe, let assume if I have time, then I will do it, but if I do not have it, then I will leave it to those that have more time.

Anyway, anyhow, anytime soon, I will probably going to write more and more blogs...

IF, and IF only its true that blogging is really good, then, you will see me reading more books and doing more research online... Hopefully it will be true...

Insya'Allah...

Until then,

Love from me to those that read my blog...

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

UNOS BESOS Y UNOS ABRAZOS...
KISSES AND HUGS...

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Funny night with the USM night bus...

Hehehe...

It was 10pm, I have just done my drama training practice. The night was cold and calm, and here I was standing at the bus stop at the Dewan Budaya. I looked at my mobile phone to see the time, and I knew now that I am already late for my another meeting at my hostel. Eager to go for the meeting, I messaged my group mates,telling them I might be late as I am waiting for the bus now. The journey from Dewan Budaya is fairly far and I did not want to tire myself out with walking, I waited there alone. For a brief moment afterward, few of the crews that join the drama that I am in, arrived, with the same notion and determination; going back to the hostel with the bus.

We chatted for awhile to let the time passed by, and the on the right side of my vision, I could see a bus at the round-about, but unfortunately, it did not turn into the road that we were waiting for the bus as it turned into the first road that it passed through. Ergo, we knew that it was the blue-coloured bus. The bus that we were waiting for was the purpled-coloured bus.

Thus, thinking that the situation now and the nature of the "ethical" drivers, we assumed that, the bus just now will be the last bus, so with all of our focused fixed on the blue-coloured bus next stop, we quickly moved there. The best part was, it was not only the four of us went to the next stop, even the other bystanders that were waiting for the bus, tagged along with us, such was the "spontaneous" parade of walking bus-chaser.

I was not satisfied with this; running to the blue-coloured bus next stop. Thus, I looked again at the round-about hoping to see the purple-coloured bus, and suddenly, I saw a bus went through the round-about and due to the low light vision and the obstruction of the trees, I was unable to see where it went. So, with all my intuition, my friends and I, went back to the last bus stop that we were standing just now hoping that it was the blue-coloured bus.

And, luck struck us, it was the bus, and due to it, all of our adrenaline pumped really fast, considering that we did not want to miss from getting on board the bus. All of us managed to get onto the bus safely and we took our seats. There are even some of the tagged-along-walking-people came back with us and some went straight to the next location where the bus were going to stop.

It was a very funny night if you, yourself went through it. And my face was filled with a big grin as I found it hilarious and heart-warming. That is all, and as the ending, I arrived at my hostel 10 minutes afterward, and I found out that, there were 3 more buses behind the bus that I was in.

AM I A BLOGGER!!!

Huhuhu~~~

Now, I can tell you that what has been happening in my mind, the reoccurring thought to blog...

Thanks, to my dearest friend, ******, who persuades me to blog... thus, I have been thinking the whole day, what to write in my blog... WHAT WHAT WHAT!!!!!!!

hehehe, you can say that, I will be an active blogger now, but people do say that it is not healthy to be a blogger... is that so? hurmm, give me ur opinions, if u have one...

Anyway, I will putting on a lot of anything that comes to my mind.. ANYTHING, that mean, I might as well upload poems that I have wrote, or songs that I have recited, or even spontaneous play/novel/plot that I have thought... HEHEHEHE...

But, BE WARNED, that my grammar is damn RUSTY, so any feedback is welcome... :D

Until then, hope to hear news from all of you readers out there...

Me LLamo, Hector... Tengo veinti uno anos... de Pahang, Malasia...

Hasta Pronto.... Un beso y abrazo...

Syntax, Semantic and Pragmatic

I always say that "Life is funny in its own way",
well, I forgot to put an adjective to it...

"Life is cruelly funny in its own way"...

Imagine it in this way...
You think of Life as a person who tries to humour himself due to the boredom that he is having... So, to make it interesting, he just torment the unlucky and bless the lucky ones...

huuhuh, I got side-tracked just now.. hurmm... interesting enough, maybe Life is just the Leprechaun or Lady Luck... You know, those in power that can turn your life around and around and around like merry-go-round.

Anyway, what I am trying to say is, life played my life very seriously...
Due to the unfortunate event of my own childhood, I was struck by a building brick to my head by my own friend (who is not my friend anymore, I want to unfriend him, hehehe)....

So, I have to get myself a nice 11 stitches on my head, and I miss my school day out to the beach.. huuhuhuhuu....

Starting that day, I think that my mind/brain capability in learning is deteriorating each times I learn something... Like this for example...

I learn, I remember, I forget...

HAHAHAHA, even my language proficiency is getting dull every minutes..
for example, look at my URL...
its supposed to be written,

www.iamaliveanddead.blogspot.com

but I wrote....

www.iamalifeanddead.blogspot.com

see the differences???

Yeah, life is cruelly funny... hehehe
but, Im going to have only one life, and one life that I am going to enjoy and leave a great mark that people will remember me, for who I am, not for who I am to be...

even if the who I am is nobody, then, that is the person that you have to be remember me as...

I' am NOT a blogger

Well, interesting enough, right now, I am pushing myself to write something just because my friend is mad at me due to the lack of update in my blog. The last time I had one, I fail to maintain it and the blog was deleted by the admin....
huhuhu

Anyway, now I will try to push myself to change from my bad habit... I will try to be a BLOGGER.. hurmm... How to do so, some people say that I have to update my blog either daily or weekly regarding what I want to share to all the people out there...
Pero, I have nothing to share to you guys. I am not a person that will try to curse another person because I try not to hold grudge... BUT, of course I will always remember what the people have done to me.

So, I think I will just jump start my brain by crapping about what in my immediate thought. So,.... [the sound of cricket can be hear from afar] ... [you even can hear your own breathing, slowly you inhale and exhale]...

Well, I have nothing to say.. Maybe I will just talk about what kind of book and the beginning that I thought of.. hurmm... but I think it is not feasible/ wise to put my ideas down here, since this post/page/blog is not suitable for novel-writing purpose and I dont want people to copy my idea... I have a lot of great new ideas, I just need a place and time to jot it down...

hehe.. maybe I will just play with a few posts later to ignite my fancy back again...

Long has I amiss my faithful friend, always been there since I was just a child.
Now it need time to break free, from the chain of reality.
Later today, I hope it fly, up above in the sky.
Do not stop, do not dwindle, by what is fake and what is real.
Together we stand fast, obstruct by the rest.
So, hope has been given, lies now in my own predicament.
To change what is and what is not and what possible in our thought.
Last to say, this is just a crapping play.
By me Azri, waiting to ignite my day.
Pan bread, chocolate sweet, with a lot of meat, I say good rid.