Operation Theatre

I hate operation theatre... It brought out many levels of my flaws ...

First the big long syringe that would be pierce from my spine...

Second the whole idea that I have to be naked in a group of people... seriously, even though, it was not the first time for me to be naked in a group of people, but not to female spectator... [ FYI, the first time was when I had my circumcision...]

Third the freaking place is effing cold. And, if you know me, COLD is SUPER DUPER EFFECTIVE against me... in fact, after the first time I had my so call surgery, I was being put under surveillance for being having the so call Fat Embolism... Which I did not have. Cold weather will weaken my heart till I can have a weak heart, and I have been monitored for how many days and they took my blood to analysis twice a day, imagine how painful to get it, as they need to get the good blood ... not the bad one... XD

Fourth to be out cold naked is the worst. You practically do not know what they are doing to you...

Fifth... well, this one, you should not know... too personal... XD

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Anyway, the thought of going there again, to have another surgery is too much... My fear tells me that I should not do it, but my mind tells me that I should. I want to get better!!! Should I wait for the natural healing takes place, then, I have to miss many events in my life. Even if I do it, how could I even know that by doing this small seems to be harmless insertion of metal into my bone would make the bones regeneration any faster.

There are many pro and con that I have to consider... Well, at least some actually... I have to take all into consideration, but, my gut says I should do it...

Another venture into the Operating Theatre, that would seem to be awfully not fun at all... I wish God will show me some signs... I need help making this decision.... 6 months home bound is enough for me...

Right Leg

Today, my cat, name Archer was suddenly full of energy... Previously he was akin to Garfield, now, at that moment, he was bursting with energy that I tried to play with him. As usually, running is a must, so I tried to run, to exhaust him, but to my wonder, I could not run... There is no strength coming from my right leg... At first, I did not notice it much, but, when I actually try to push myself to break a run, I fail to do that, it would be as if I am limping, I felt rather overwhelm with curiosity, then I tried to jump. Putting all the force into my right leg, I tried to jump. However, it was a futile effort. I did not manage even to lift my foot above the ground. How funny is that... Nonetheless, I am not doing this to break my spirit, but to remind myself to this event. I might try again later in the nearest future, but for the current being, I will just stick with walking...