The True Confession of a Trusting guy

I believe in people.

I believe in always to have good intention.

I hate when we prejudge people.

However, I know man cheats. Man lies. Man kills.

Not everyone in good, like wise not everyone is evil.

My life started to have the feeling of paranoia towards human when I was 17.

A friend. Someone I always consider A FRIEND in my social circle, lied to me.

I think, that was the first time I had someone blatantly lied to me. My wall of trust crushed that day. Crumbled. That was the first penetration which cracked and started it all. The first war that I had with myself.

As I got older, people... They are not worth to help, but we always want to have good things to be done to us. We should take the first step.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"

Now, I am reaching 27, I was cheated even more, and lied even further. I lost a lot. I lost too much. I am mentally scarred now. I am traumatized by how people can take my trust for granted and used it for their own benefit.

I trusted people too easily and too early. I have no ulterior motives. It was genuine. I thought the same to others. My wall has crumbled and to repair it. It would take forever.

In 2011, I spoke on this matter to my best buddy, Jack Izhar East. I told him of this issue. I can't trust people anymore, let alone be in relationship. He was very supportive, and understanding. He was always there for ups and downs. A true best friend of mine.

In 2015, someone took everything from me. It made me go through hell to get back up. The effect from the incident, lingers even now. However, I was lucky that I had someone to stand by me then, to support me. Without her, ElieLiLsnow, I would have literally killed myself then and there. It was by far the worst thing that happened to me. It topped 2011.

I am really grateful to have these two people in my life. Jack Izhar East and ElieLilsnow. They are the treasure of my life. I love them. I wish to grow old with them. However, I know I will never be able to do it. One got married with a daughter now, and another will be getting married soon.

I wish both of them all the best in their life regardless.

Coming back to trust. I am scared to trust but I force myself every single day. I want to believe in the good of man, even though my past experiences have showed otherwise.