The True Confession of a Lame Man 2

It has been, how many months, nearly 6 months I think, I have been a handicap ... I know, I have been keeping strong for those 6 months, but, I am a man of outdoor, I need to go out and see my friends. I have the need to go out and see the world. Cooping in this house, will wither my soul and creativity away. I see my life being thrown into doing something useless everyday. I have no mood to get up because, there is nothing for me to see. There is nothing for me to look forward to in every freaking waking hour. I feel rather useless and worthless. I think, it is enough with the high self critical within me that keep eating me from inside. To open my eyes, every single day is just like waiting for the Grim Reaper to come for me. People will tell me then, 'Hey, do something useful, like Online Business and such', for your information, Business and me, do not go well together... And some people who do know me, will say 'Write a book, a poem, a song, read a book or work out'...  I cannot do any of those... My house is not a place to do those... Let me just tell you. It is not just about mood... If you know creative people, they need their zone of creativity. and I do have that, and it is NOT in MY HOME... [ I have my reason why ] ...

Walking, it just one of the easiest thing to do, after you have mastered it when you were small, I do not understand why people always tell me that you have to RE-learn it again if you broke your leg... For me, what you have MASTERED, should stick until your last breath, except, if you had amnesia... But, the thing about amnesia, people still remember how to talk and eat and the important of wearing clothes, and more... So, why do oneself does not have to master back something that he or she has completely forgotten, the memory of learning it, but when you fractured your leg, you have to learn it. It does not make sense to me.

Feeling to be unable to walk, suck... to the core.... Right now, I just want to show that I can do it, walk... I did, a few times, in the spite of the self hatred and loathsome inside of me that long to walk and hate to be a potato couch. To tell you the truth, if my leg is well now, I will be walking, nonstop. I long to jog and workout. I long to travel with my friends, to see them and go yam-cha together. I long to do a lot of things.

If my family knows that I walked, crutches-less, I think they would get mad at me. But, Hey, I walked like a normal people walking, literally. I can still walk... ^_^ I think I just need to keep that in mind...