The True Confession of Azri Ahmad

It's hard to put it in word. My life has turned in many ways; whether going ups or downs.

I would like to open my heart here on what the recent event left me with.

I am a shy and low self esteem guy (Well, I am sure most of you will disagree with it) However, I am truly am. I am quite socially awkward towards friends who I know but not 100% close with. I have only a selective of friends who I am close with and I never felt awkward, and I feel very comfortable with them. This only due to the fact that they know me.

How does this affect me? As you have known, I had an unfortunate incident last 2 weeks ago. I am wounded at many places and believe me, I will have scars all over these places.

The worst part is, my teeth. Everyone always commended on how good my teeth looks like. A great smile. Thus, I love to smile. Beside boosting my self confidence, it makes other smile too.

Now, little that some of you know, one of my teeth actually may have to be pulled off. The dentist is trying his best to save it by mending a wire so it will stay put and heal up. However, it seems quite futile. He also indicated that there are other ways to save it, but I am not sure at what cost.

If the tooth will be pulled out, my smile would never be the same again. 

Therefore, can I smile again like I use to? I believe no. The smile that you have always seen on my face will be gone. I will be shier. 

Chances are I will avoid people more.

I am a single guy, still looking and this changed my gameplay altogether. Scars, at too many places will deter me to even go out with new friends. I am really unsure what my future will become. 

Yes, a happy go lucky guy like me do have my down time. It happened once, and now it is happening again. The only difference is that, now it is very visible. Everyone can see it. I am scared.

Little that you know, I am a melancholic guy. Therefore, I always in pursuance of positive thinking to tackle my issues. Buckle up and challenge it head on. This incident is a negativity in my life which impact more on how I perceive myself.

What will become of me? I am unsure of myself. I am afraid and concern how it will change me. 

In Islam, every challenges and difficulties that one's going through is actually a test. Supposedly, the test that God has given to you, will always be the test that you can handle. It would make you grow and shape your personality.

However, I can't see it as something that I can handle. It is obscure. Life is obscure to me now.

I am implore you that you can support me morally. Thank you for reading this. I hope I didn't take too much of your time.

Have a good day.